Craigslist Meets WallStreet…Classic
What a classic answer…..
THIS APPEARED ON CRAIG’S LIST
What am I doing wrong?
Okay, I’m tired of beating around the bush. I’m a beautiful (spectacularly beautiful) 25 year old girl. I’m articulate and classy.
I’m not from New York . I’m looking to get married to a guy who makes at least half a million a year. I know how that sounds, but keep in mind that a million a year is middle class in New York City, so I don’t think I’m overreaching at all.
Are there any guys who make 500K or more on this board? Any wives? Could you send me some tips? I dated a business man who makes average around 200 - 250. But that’s where I seem to hit a roadblock. 250,000 won’t get me to central park west. I know a woman in my yoga class who was married to an investment banker and lives in Tribeca, and she’s not as pretty as I am, nor is she a great genius. So what is she doing right? How do I get to her level?
Here are my questions specifically:
- Where do you single rich men hang out? Give me specifics- bars, restaurants, gyms
-What are you looking for in a mate? Be honest guys, you won’t hurt my feelings
-Is there an age range I should be targeting (I’m 25)?
- Why are some of the women living lavish lifestyles on the upper east side so plain? I’ve seen really ‘plain jane’ boring types who have nothing to offer married to incredibly wealthy guys. I’ve seen drop dead gorgeous girls in singles bars in the east village. What’s the story there?
- Jobs I should look out for? Everyone knows - lawyer, investment banker, doctor. How much do those guys really make? And where do they hang out? Where do the hedge fund guys hang out?
- How you decide marriage vs. just a girlfriend? I am looking for MARRIAGE ONLY
Please hold your insults - I’m putting myself out there in an honest way. Most beautiful women are superficial; at least I’m being up front about it. I wouldn’t be searching for these kind of guys if I wasn’t able to match them - in looks, culture, sophistication, and keeping a nice home and hearth.
it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: 432279810
THE ANSWER
Dear Pers-431649184:
I read your posting with great interest and have thought meaningfully about your dilemma. I offer the following analysis of your predicament.
Firstly, I’m not wasting your time, I qualify as a guy who fits your bill; that is I make more than $500K per year. That said here’s how I see it.
Your offer, from the prospective of a guy like me, is plain and simple a crappy business deal. Here’s why. Cutting through all the B.S., what you suggest is a simple trade: you bring your looks to the party and I bring my money. Fine, simple. But here’s the rub, your looks will fade and my money will likely continue into perpetuity…in fact, it is very likely that my income increases but it is an absolute certainty that you won’t be getting any more beautiful!
So, in economic terms you are a depreciating asset and I am an earning asset. Not only are you a depreciating asset, your depreciation accelerates! Let me explain, you’re 25 now and will likely stay pretty hot for the next 5 years, but less so each year. Then the fade begins in earnest. By 35 stick a fork in you!
So in Wall Street terms, we would call you a trading position, not a buy and hold…hence the rub…marriage. It doesn’t make good business sense to “buy you” (which is what you’re asking) so I’d rather lease. In case you think I’m being cruel, I would say the following. If my money were to go away, so would you, so when your beauty fades I need an out. It’s as simple as that. So a deal that makes sense is dating, not marriage.
Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient markets. So, I wonder why a girl as “articulate, classy and spectacularly beautiful”
as you has been unable to find your sugar daddy. I find it hard to believe that if you are as gorgeous as you say you are that the $500K hasn’t found you, if not only for a tryout.
By the way, you could always find a way to make your own money and then we wouldn’t need to have this difficult conversation.
With all that said, I must say you’re going about it the right way.
Classic “pump and dump.”
I hope this is helpful, and if you want to enter into some sort of lease, let me know.
Subscribe to howardlindzon.com
Jason Meshwork wrote:
Please tell me you know who wrote the reply.
Posted on 04-Oct-07 at 11:15 am | Permalink
Howard Lindzon wrote:
me
Posted on 04-Oct-07 at 11:22 am | Permalink
Jeff wrote:
She asked for an honest answer, and she sure got one. I hope you were thanked for your time, effort, and intelligence.
Posted on 04-Oct-07 at 11:31 am | Permalink
Peter wrote:
Actually, i do know who wrote this. The guy works for JP Morgan. My dad works in finance and sent this over to me over email. It had been circling around the wall st emails. The guy who wrote it actually listed his name, address and job. You’re going to have to take my words on faith, because i’m not going to be a dick to him and publish it without his permission.
Posted on 04-Oct-07 at 11:37 am | Permalink
Peter wrote:
Howard,
Unless you are suing a pseudonym here or on the response to craigslist, you didn’t write the response. I know this for a fact.
Posted on 04-Oct-07 at 11:40 am | Permalink
Howard Lindzon wrote:
i use many pseudonyms depending on the site. For teen sites I use my father in laws
Posted on 04-Oct-07 at 11:45 am | Permalink
Ken wrote:
I have been in relationships like the one the lady described before. And the gentleman that replayed was correct. When I changed carrier paths and the money slowed for a year, she was gone. Very few men with the intelligence to earn that salary would chose someone as shallow.
Posted on 04-Oct-07 at 11:48 am | Permalink
Katrineholm Review wrote:
The response to the 25 year old woman is exactly on target. Young men, print the article, fold it in your wallet and don’t get involved with a woman who just wants you for your income.
Posted on 04-Oct-07 at 12:01 pm | Permalink
bembot wrote:
why is it that marriage is always equated with big bucks? I was married for 36 years and we were well off, we were poor, then again up financially but i loved my husband the same. we were raising and supporting 6 children and we were so down and out, but still we managed. What happened to true love? Why is it that people are scared of for better or for worse?
Posted on 04-Oct-07 at 12:09 pm | Permalink
lol wrote:
LOL… great read.
Where has all the love gone?
Posted on 04-Oct-07 at 12:11 pm | Permalink
Meghann Will wrote:
AMAZING…
How sure are you that she’s not from Scottsdale? Definitely could be.
Posted on 04-Oct-07 at 12:18 pm | Permalink
Steve Brillig wrote:
“I’ve seen really ‘plain jane’ boring types who have nothing to offer married to incredibly wealthy…”
That quote reveals both all we need to know about this woman, and the root of her problem and she is blind to it. Funny/sad.
Posted on 04-Oct-07 at 12:30 pm | Permalink
Peter II wrote:
I have no need to print this out and put it in my wallet as I will never make more than $500k. I hope the right people are - that sounds like an awful lot of moola for a whole lot of hoopla.
Posted on 04-Oct-07 at 12:30 pm | Permalink
Simone wrote:
By all accounts, a fantastic response, and girls like this, well, they need to be sterilized, as they do such a disservice to my gender and age bracket, but whomever did respond failed to address one of the girl’s more interesting (and I use the term “interesting” loosely) observations. Why do these seemingly ugly women get the rich guys she’s after? My thoughts, these other women aren’t altogether that unattractive, or, more likely, they have more to offer then surface value. My two cents to chicky, If a guy wanted to sit across the table from something pretty for the rest of his life, he’d buy some form of art work, you better have something interesting to say or an option to share. So maybe stop trolling Craigslist (!!!) for the man of your dreams, and take a class or pick up a book. Those beautiful, broke, single girls are in bars because they couldn’t keep their men entertained and interested, you can only get so far with “this one time in Cancun…” stories.
Posted on 04-Oct-07 at 12:37 pm | Permalink
Mark wrote:
Maybe it never occurred to her that some of those women may be (at least part of) the reason that their husbands are doing so well. I know that I wouldn’t be nearly as successful as I am if my wife hadn’t been there supporting me and encouraging me throughout my career.
Later
Mark
Posted on 04-Oct-07 at 12:42 pm | Permalink
Pulchritudina wrote:
Any woman who thinks she is “spectacularly beautiful” is problably not. This chick is delusional.
And she can’t spell. It’s businessman.
Posted on 04-Oct-07 at 12:51 pm | Permalink
Rick wrote:
@mark:
Honey, is that you?
Posted on 04-Oct-07 at 1:02 pm | Permalink
Stefan Hayden » When shallow people talk honestly wrote:
[…] When shallow people talk honestly. It always interesting to see how much the two genders collide when they get a little to honest with each other. Posted October 4th, 2007 in web | Link | if (ShowGoogleAd == 1) { document.write(”"); } […]
Posted on 04-Oct-07 at 1:03 pm | Permalink
Anonymous Coward wrote:
for those interested, a quick google turned up this person as the responder.
Rob - nice.
____________
Rob Campbell
J.P.Morgan
Diversified Industrials Investment Banking
277 Park Avenue , 16/F, New York, NY 10172
———–
See http://austin.craigslist.org/rnr/439244849.html
Posted on 04-Oct-07 at 1:12 pm | Permalink
Response to “Gold-Digging CraigsList Poster” wrote:
[…] Craigslist poster mentioned last week here and on Gawker. Here’s a decent excerpt, whole piece here: Your offer, from the prospective of a guy like me, is plain and simple a crappy business deal. […]
Posted on 04-Oct-07 at 1:21 pm | Permalink
holden caulfield wrote:
At first the email reminded me of an unconvincingly photo-shopped image: it read as too disparate from a reality I am familiar with.
Given my perspective as a poor student, living at home, attending university in a mediocre middle-class city in the middle of the continent, the Lady’s views are absolutely disconnected from any reality i am familiar with. And so my immediate reaction was that it wasn’t true – it was fabricated to encourage debate, or who knows what. However, during a recent trip to Orange County, I was (basically) shocked to encounter cases who are similar in objective to the author. For example, I was approached at a bar by a woman who, after a few moments of ‘small talk’ outright asked how much money I made. I guess she didn’t hear me when I explained that I was an unemployed student. In another example, I was sitting in a mall with my friend eating ice-cream. We were approached by two women who easily struck up a conversation with us. Eventually they made the observation that we ‘looked like computer engineer start-up types’ and that we must make a lot of money. One went so far as to ask what model of BMW I drove – without even confirming that I had a BMW (Let alone a car!).
Personally this type of behaviour frightens me. This gluttonous, parasitic attitude is symptomatic of an unhealthy society.
Posted on 04-Oct-07 at 1:30 pm | Permalink
Phil wrote:
truly classic.
Posted on 04-Oct-07 at 1:53 pm | Permalink
Joy wrote:
This is a very nice read..^^..the girl who was asking for an honest reply got what she really deserved.
I just hope she wake up to her senses sooner before she totally depreciate her value.
Posted on 04-Oct-07 at 2:08 pm | Permalink
matelot wrote:
people who read & responde to this kind of Craigslist posts are just fucking morons
Posted on 04-Oct-07 at 2:17 pm | Permalink
Kim wrote:
Has there been any replies from the woman herself? I wonder what she has to say about Mr. Campbell’s reply!
Posted on 04-Oct-07 at 2:20 pm | Permalink
Mouseclone wrote:
I watched a movie once that was a chick flick and they referred to these types of women as “plastics”. I think that it was directed at superficial high school girls, but it still applies here. this woman is plastic and transparent.
I love my wife, and I know that she love me. We have not only been married less than a year but we have lived together for 3 years before that. I was making decent money when I meet her, and I’m talking 40k not 250k, I lost my job and took one making about 28k. she stuck by me and helped take care of things. Soon I was back making a little less than what I was at my previous job, but I took a huge risk to do it.
I walked off the job for the interview for the next. This got me fired. I didn’t have a job and wasn’t sure about the new one. She stuck by me all the way though it. We are better now and I’m making a little more than I was.
Point is that behind ever great man there is even a greater woman. Supporting him in some fashion that is helping him to strive and be the best that he can be for her and himself.
If this woman wants a 500k man, she should have to work for it. Find someone with hopes and dreams and help him to meet those goals. She shouldn’t find someone that has no drive or ambitions, this will lead to a dead end.
Last she could sucker some college kid that could make that much soon and get him to marry her. None the less, this woman is extremely shallow and doesn’t deserve anything but the hood or a run down trailer park to live in.
Posted on 04-Oct-07 at 2:23 pm | Permalink
Hope wrote:
She should at least have provided a picture. Maybe she is all that, but has just been unlucky in love. Right!
Posted on 04-Oct-07 at 2:24 pm | Permalink
dhindhin wrote:
Funny ha ! Great Answer!
Posted on 04-Oct-07 at 2:25 pm | Permalink
Doc wrote:
It vexes me that someone purported to be earning in excess of $500kpa can confuse “prospective” with “perspective”.
Posted on 04-Oct-07 at 3:25 pm | Permalink
Highrisegirl wrote:
Unless you are looking to become a mother before you reach forty, back up
a little, learn as much about life as you can, travel, read, listen, and “GET
OLDER”! More often than not the first wife gets dumped, supportive, gorgeous, or plain and interesting. By the time a man is in his early sixties
Posted on 04-Oct-07 at 3:27 pm | Permalink
age wrote:
I bet she has been “25″ for several years now and will eventually make the jump to 30 something.
Posted on 04-Oct-07 at 3:29 pm | Permalink
Highrisegirl wrote:
whoops, sorry,
and HOT, his kids are out of college,
and you’ll know exactly what he’s worth and what you’ll get should you stay married when you sign the pre-nup!
Subtract the Allimony payments and maybe even a Mother-In Law and you
become at forty, THE TROPHY WIFE.
Till then, work hard at all you do, finish what you start, keep yourself in excellent health, and enjoy every minute of being young, beautiful and single…
Posted on 04-Oct-07 at 3:34 pm | Permalink
eddie Daroza wrote:
hey id pimp myself out for some money no prob
Posted on 04-Oct-07 at 3:34 pm | Permalink
Alex wrote:
She’s offering love for sale. She is selling herself off as a trophy-a thing!
The answer given is true wisdom dispensed for free.
Posted on 04-Oct-07 at 3:52 pm | Permalink
Lee wrote:
Notice she never mentions the word “love”. The respondant is right; she talks like marriage is just a business transaction. And he paid her the compliment of replying in the same vein. Since falling in love isn’t a priority for her, she isn’t bringing enough to the table to seal the deal. Too bad. I bet marriage without love saps your soul.
Posted on 04-Oct-07 at 3:56 pm | Permalink
Mr Angry wrote:
Howard, you’ve been waiting your whole life to make a reply like that, haven’t you?
Posted on 04-Oct-07 at 4:54 pm | Permalink
JellyBean wrote:
As a plain jane type whom has snagged such a “great guy” (monetary wise), I must speak out.
Why does my fiance stay with me? I am nothing but an average girl. Average face. Average smile. Average body. Average Average Average. Okay, maybe above average intelligence. Nonetheless, I am nothing special to look at. And according to this woman, I should have absolutely no reason to be with my fiance, who makes over a million a year.
So why is he with me?
We met in college. He only made 500K back then. We were partners in one of our mechanical engineering classes. He was a freshman, I a junior. He was cute, but I was dating the typical rough exterior, beautiful interior type guys.
Over time, we started to like each other. I loved his car more than I loved him. We went camping. Movies. Kayaking. I tried to hook him up with other girls; he was too nice, too cute, too… too much for me.
Then I went to law school. Met a nice lawyer and started dating him. He made good money too. The only thing we shared in common was our love of the law.
But we remained friends, always hanging out. His mother hoped we would start dating, we laughed it off. He was still too much for me. I didn’t think I was pretty enough; I thought I was too fat, to ugly, to poor. Which, in retrospect, is quite funny, considering my family lives very happily in a very nice community in California.
It wasn’t until my third year that we started dating. It really was random. We were drinking. He fessed up. Said he had liked me since he first met me.
Two years have passed. He proposed 6 months after we started dating. I am the one who put the brakes on. Wanted to make sure we were really going to be happy.
So what does he find so great about me?
1- I don’t want his money and I can/do support myself.
2- I make him laugh. The shit that comes out of my mouth makes a lot of people laugh, namely, my fiance.
3- We have never had a fight. NEVER.
4- I don’t stress him out.
5- I have never asked for him to pay for a thing. Well actually that isn’t true; he does fund my charity habit.
I’m sorry, I’ll admit it, I have a pension for going hog wild when it comes to charities! Some girls like purses or shoes, I like charities. He accepts this.
6- Despite his friends and everyone else’s best efforts, I am the only girl to make him feel at ease.
7- He knows that he can always come to me and annoy me with his stories of how angry he is and I won’t get mad or tell him to shut up. He likes knowing that I am the one person he can confide in.
8- He doesn’t have to buy me expensive gifts. A book is cool. But even better, one time he gave me a light bulb and told me I light up his life.
9- He loves the fact that I make him do so many different things, all of them adventures that he believes are life threatening.
10- And finally, he loves that I am so different and as he puts it, “extraordinary.”
And for that, I love my fiance. Even though he is rich and handsome and oh so perfect, I still love him for the man he is, not the money he has.
Posted on 04-Oct-07 at 5:10 pm | Permalink
howard lindzon wrote:
yes angry yes. you complete me
Posted on 04-Oct-07 at 5:27 pm | Permalink
Jack wrote:
JellyBean wrote:
“I have a pension for going hog wild when it comes to charities!”
JellyBean, you say you have “above average intelligence” and went to law school yet you don’t know the difference between “pension” and “penchant”?
Posted on 04-Oct-07 at 5:29 pm | Permalink
Tims Blogger | Links for October 4th wrote:
[…] Howard Lindzon » Craigslist Meets WallStreet…Classic - […]
Posted on 04-Oct-07 at 5:31 pm | Permalink
John W wrote:
#21
As someone who has lived in Newport Beach (The real oc..) almost my entire life, I would like to know which bar and ice cream shop you claim to have met such dumb-bells.
Never in my life have I heard or seen such an entertaining show. The girls here work restaurants and bars like its their job (and to some, it is..), but never openly do they (ESPECIALLY ON MEETING) ask how much you make.
Hasty generalizations aside, what do you think the women here are? Mentally ill? That would be red alert for anyone worth his weight in NB and thus a short career for the gold-digger.
You should consider a career in creative writing. I’m sure you have reaffirmed many shallow-hal’s out there that newport beach is full of gold digging BMW driving pricks and prickettes. Not that I disagree, but still.. BMW is middle class in these parts, recall the madam was speaking of 500k a year. Thats Ferrari territory buddy.
Finally, thanks for trying to keep our tourism down. We really would rather you stuck to Disneyland and off of our beaches.
Posted on 04-Oct-07 at 5:36 pm | Permalink
PoofMe.com » if you want to enter into some sort of lease, let me know. wrote:
[…] Thursday, 4 Oct 2007 if you want to enter into some sort of lease, let me know. The best craigslist posting EVER. The response, that is, not the initial question. […]
Posted on 04-Oct-07 at 6:09 pm | Permalink
southy wrote:
Oscar Wilde’s dictum comes to mind “No affection of appearance conceals a common place mind.” To be loved you have to love. Not the stupid money but in what makes life important. The synthesis of thought and action into creativity. This is done in a thousand million different ways. The fact of the matter though is that you must be genuine. That what is of value is finding and acting on things that make life valuable. To create & develop your ideas, to have interests and in the same sense avoid pride / ego / arrogance of self. To believe in yourself doesn’t mean you are worth X dollars - it is that what you do is of value. At 25 I find you shallow. I look up to friends who do - not just for the sake of do-ing but because what they do has value i.e. is interesting, takes effort, is exciting, is caring, requires intellect or mind. You sound immensely like a consumer and those types take. The old adage of the more you give the more you get is fairly true. Where it isn’t (in the receiving stakes) doesn’t matter because you are too busy doing the great things. You keep the bucks, image, consumption: I’ll have a life.
Posted on 04-Oct-07 at 6:16 pm | Permalink
southy wrote:
Moseclone wrote “behind every great man there is even a greater woman.”
That may well be but I thought this holds greater veracity
“Behind every great man is a surprised woman.”
Posted on 04-Oct-07 at 6:22 pm | Permalink
Daniel wrote:
I’m skeptical this actually appeared on Craigslist, why is it not archived like many other postings?
Also to Jellybean: Your current husband was making 500k a year while going to school? Engineering?
Posted on 04-Oct-07 at 6:24 pm | Permalink
JellyBean wrote:
To Jack (#39): So I made a mistake. At least I will fess up to them.
To Daniel (#45): He builds custom hot rods/cars/racecars. In college he only did custom hotrods and cars. Mind you, this is in California and his father owned the business to begin with, so clientel was already built up.
Posted on 04-Oct-07 at 6:33 pm | Permalink
telexism.com » Blog Archive » Craigslist Meets WallStreet…Classic wrote:
[…] http://howardlindzon.com/?p=2725 […]
Posted on 04-Oct-07 at 7:02 pm | Permalink
The Reverter wrote:
you’re all a bunch of liars.
Posted on 04-Oct-07 at 7:58 pm | Permalink
Josh of Pixelton wrote:
What a perfect response. I enjoyed the fact that it never went below the belt, but addressed her concerns with honest answers.
I bet she hates honest answers now.
Posted on 04-Oct-07 at 7:59 pm | Permalink
Alfred wrote:
You reverted nicely on that young lass.
The needful has been completed, this is device judgement.
Posted on 04-Oct-07 at 8:00 pm | Permalink
Greshan Swan wrote:
I am deeply offended by that statement, reverter. I have never lied nor do I plan to ever lie. This may infact be a lie.
Rich people get online too.
Posted on 04-Oct-07 at 8:01 pm | Permalink
Zir wrote:
Well..if you’re after money that magical figure of $500K, Then why go for one man..how about three men of $150K leasing you…
Posted on 04-Oct-07 at 8:09 pm | Permalink
Joe wrote:
Priceless! Rob is a god
Posted on 04-Oct-07 at 8:14 pm | Permalink
chunkymunky.info » Blog Archive » Craigslist Meets WallStreet…Classic wrote:
[…] click here for the post […]
Posted on 04-Oct-07 at 8:15 pm | Permalink
The Reverter wrote:
“matelot wrote:
people who read & responde to this kind of Craigslist posts are just fucking morons”
the irony
Posted on 04-Oct-07 at 8:23 pm | Permalink
carpediem212 wrote:
i initially thought this was spam or some kind of chain letter. Then I did a google and there it was. This girl really needs some self reflecting and think it through.
Hey JellyBean,
Would love to check out your husband’s shop. I’m in school now for my BS in ME.
Posted on 04-Oct-07 at 9:01 pm | Permalink
CHESSNOID wrote:
wow. clever response in an economic sense with a side of nice subtle sarcasm.
Posted on 04-Oct-07 at 9:49 pm | Permalink
Sub wrote:
in the industry we call this a “burrrrrrn” or possibly an “ICE BURN”
Posted on 04-Oct-07 at 9:53 pm | Permalink
John wrote:
-To the girl..you need to read the “millionaire next door” and change your profiling techniques. Then figure out how you can either start a profitable business on your own or find someone willing to hope and dream along with you to find a shared success - it’s a team effort and not easy. And mind those expenses along the way - it’s what you keep that’s important.
-To everyone else..the girl is just 25, and can’t help but be a little shallow (that’s what that end of the pool is for).
-And for those damn spelling police..knock it off.
Posted on 04-Oct-07 at 10:25 pm | Permalink
UngsungBlog: A (Fantasy) Sports Blog » The Office “Dunder Mifflin Infinity” Review, Symantec Rebates Are A Scam, And Craigslist Personals Pwnage wrote:
[…] Finally, if you haven’t seen this fantastic example of intarweb-uber-pwnage, please take the time to read […]
Posted on 04-Oct-07 at 11:14 pm | Permalink
some links at the shaky kaiser wrote:
[…] I ain’t saying you’re a golddigger - quality reply. […]
Posted on 04-Oct-07 at 11:28 pm | Permalink